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" I smiled but didn't know what to say. He continued, "You did this for me?" Yes. Just for you, and only for you." And you're okay with... me... being able to do that to you?"I put on a serious face, "Honey, I love you and I trust you. And I don't know how to explain it, but now when you do that to me, the feelings... what comes over me.... I don't know how to explain it..."He smiled and we hugged and kissed. Then we said our good-nights and went to bed.And that's been the way it's been ever. Whenever I try to eat, my stomach clenches and I lose it all. Whenever I try to sleep, my mind is filled with what happened in that basement. You think I don’t want to go back and stop myself from going down those stairs and seeing her like that? It was the worst night of my life and it was just a regular Friday to you. Enjoy your rally. I’ll show myself out.”I walked away and knew I needed to try to eat soon. I was light-headed and shaky as I got back to my car. When I looked up, Mitch was on. I’m walking to Martina’s house Saturday afternoon. Martina wanted me to meet her at her house, because her dad wanted to talk to me and take us to dinner. Thursday is Christmas and I plan to take Dr. Jackson’s advice to isolate myself from all of my problems. I decided that after Christmas, I’m going to go away and take time for myself.I knock on the door as Martina answers and gives me a hug and lets me in. I see Martina’s dad sitting on the couch.“Hey, kid, good to see you again,” he says. I. If she was interested, it wouldn't be fair to block us from hooking up.Callie had raven hair and dark eyes, completely the opposite of Aggie and me, whose weathered dirty blonde look was part of the turn-on for her. Our emeraldine eyes seemed to shine, as well.I don't remember if I confessed to Aggie that I was still a virgin, and if she would have passed that info to Callie, or even whether that was what made Callie feel safe, starting up with me; but all these types of thoughts interfere with.
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