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I stand in front of the mirror, towel wrapped around my waist. I grab my razor and begin to remove the stubble from my cheeks. I'm the VP of a very successful magazine, so I have to dress and look appropriate. You could also say I'm pretty wealthy. Once I've put my aftershave on, I dry my dark brown hair once more with my towel. I check it in the mirror, forming it just how I want it. With the sides shaved, I don't have much to do; I squirt a tiny dollop of gel into my palm and rub my hands. .. perhaps. Now come and cheer everyone up by dancing with me."Five minutes of energetic humiliation later I was really ready for a beer and left the dance floor to the cheers of the campsite."Dear Lord how do you always manage to persuade me to do that?" I asked Paula."You make me look so good is why," she replied with a cheeky grin. This is true, I can make anyone look good on the dance floor, it's not that I have two left feet, it's more like Jake the Peg, three left feet and an utter lack. I’ve never really thought about it. I may have to get back to you on that. But until then just try to be happy and live life to the fullest.”As we stood up I tripped over something and bumped into my teacher, causing us both to fall to the floor.“Ooh, are you putting the moves on Mr. Lopez? He must have made a really good impression on you. I approve,” Sam teased.I stood up on two legs and said, “I think it was me that made an impression on him. Oh, God that sounded wrong. I’m so sorry.”Mr.. Before you say it I happily admit I'm a dirty old man, after all, I've been in training for more than sixty years. I get immense enjoyment from watching the ladies, but I'm harmless. Even if I felt inclined to make a nuisance of myself, the condition of my old body makes it impossible. I'm closer to seventy than sixty, and pretty knackered to boot.A few weeks ago, I was lounging around as usual, parked next to the drain I use for an ashtray, enjoying the sunshine. I always park in that spot,.
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